We explore the possibility of gauge mediation in a paradigm whereby supersymmetry is posited to be an accidental symmetry of Nature and the Standard Model fields are composite bound states that emerge from a conformal field theory. The resultant effective theory can, through sequestering and conformal dynamics, exhibit most of the properties of low energy supersymmetry breaking while averting a number of cosmological and astrophysical constraints of the traditional framework of gauge mediation via dynamical supersymmetry breaking. Of particular phenomenological interest is that in our scenario, the gravitino is superheavy, the neutralino LSP is a viable candidate for cold dark matter and the flavor changing neutral currents are constrained to be, at the very minimum, only an order of magnitude below current experimental bounds.