We show that fuzzy spheres are solutions of Lorentzian Ishibashi-Kawai-Kitazawa-Tsuchiya-type matrix models. The solutions serve as toy models of closed noncommutative cosmologies where big bang/crunch singularities appear only after taking the commutative limit. The commutative limit of these solutions corresponds to a sphere embedded in Minkowski space. This “sphere” has several novel features. The induced metric does not agree with the standard metric on the sphere, and, moreover, it does not have a fixed signature. The curvature computed from the induced metric is not constant, has singularities at fixed latitudes (not corresponding to the poles) and is negative. Perturbations are made about the solutions, and are shown to yield a scalar field theory on the sphere in the commutative limit. The scalar field can become tachyonic for a range of the parameters of the theory.